I feel pretty good.

I am beginning to discover that things don't come easily to me in life.I am SO fortunate for having a wonderful family,a caring sweetheart and an amazing group of friends.Not to mention a roof over my head,a car to drive,and food to eat.I have to constantly remind myself of these fortunes....especially when I am prone to bad luck.

If I was an emoticon...
right now,
I'd be this:

=)

AND.....

Sometimes,
for no reason whatsoever,
a girl just needs…

chocolate (:

For once in my life I have no words.
no thoughts...
no creativity...
It scares me and I'm feeling a little lost.
I'm going to take a break from the blogging world.
Maybe for a week,Maybe longer.
I will leave you with some Puzzles from DashBoard Confessional.

Peace Out fellas ^^

I am officially weak in the knees by YOU (:

Ahem.
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

I have a most extremely important fantabulous announcement to make...
The trailer for the twilight saga 'Eclipse' are in cinemas today!
My. Oh. My. So today is Thursday....
What am I doing you ask?
Oh,I'm heading to gsc later^^
Whoop Whoop.


So many exciting things...
I have been creating lately.
Ahhh!
I feel like it has been so long since I have been able to open up my mind.
Also on another happy note
Shermie's back for the holidays.
we have Sooooo much to catch up on =)
Oh my.I miss you so much and I don't know what to say.
one year has passed and I'm glad you're back tho it's for a short period of time.
Will update more soon.

I must have one of these babies!!

I'm in the process of getting a pair of these babies!
The colours are so vibrant and alive!

ARGH!!

Love em' all!!

All things cherish (:

Oh My!!
Time has flown by once again!
One big bloggity mess!!!

So much to talk about...
Ahhh!!
It's all smiles around here.
:)))))

At this moment,I am me!

Chaos and contention can't penetrate my walls.
I feel Peace.

So lately life has been a little random.
Daily activities bring never ending surprises.
Lots of giggles and excitement.
Pretty amazing if you ask me.
:)

But whatever does happen next...
(in the words of Martha Stewart)
"It's a good thing."
No more losing myself in others.
I am me.Myself. and Only I.
I want to give myself new challenges...
Help me!Challenge me!
:)
note:I am growing.I am learning.I am becoming stronger.Changes are beginning.New adventures are blossoming.I am happy.Genuinely happy =)

To tell u the truth,I've juz been avoiding everything.

why do we chase after the impossibles when we have the possibles awaits us??why am I so stupid?why don't I take risk?I think I'm afraid of being happy because everytime I'm happy,something bad always happens.I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,but only seconds to destroy it.That is why I never seem to trust someone that quickly.Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again.So when life gets tough you can just play pretend.I wanna go back to when Santa did exist.When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed.When Disney World was the best place to be.When the only movies you could see were rated G.When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the same.And every time you were sad or you had a bad day. You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay.I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter.When everyone always lives happily ever after.I'm just afraid of taking chances and I'm so lost right now.I don't even know what I want,what to do,what to say and where to go.I wanna get lost from my life sometimes,sit on the side and watch the world go by,I wanna get lost and I don't know why.I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now,so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward,you know,like I don't belong in my own skin,I get frustrated at everything,I could just scream and there's no reason for it,I just hate myself.

dont be afraid to be who U want to be.

Changes is always scary but knowing you have the backbone to hold yourself up during the tough times makes it easy.Having the support system you know you need,makes everything worth it.No matter how hard,how stressful or how frightening it may all seem,knowing that they are behind you to catch you when you feel like you're going to fall is worth all the risks we take.Have you ever looked at someones life and just wished you had it as easy as them?everything seems to just fall into place for them and nothing bad ever happens?ya I've done the same thing.except now,I know that those people have just as many fears and insecurities as us "normal" people do.They are much better at hiding them or are the kind of people that think their whole life needs to appear perfect and by no means can any of their problems or indiscretions be told to other people.I am quite the opposite.I tend to just tell people everything because I find my life always moves so much smoother when I don't have anything to "hide".

NOTE:Don't let someone else try to control you and your decisions.Don't let fear take away something that could make you happier than you could imagine.Easier said than done but hey,the light bulb was not made on the first try.It takes time but if you really want it nothing should hold you back.including your insecurities (:

Saving the Best for Last...(fingers crossed)

What do you do when you have a relationship that is just being held together by one little thread??
You are at different points in your lives.
You don't have the same goals.
It's a struggle to find commonality.
And when that thread is tested and pulled tighter than ever before what happens??
Do you let it snap & say ef it?
Do you get out the clear nail polish and try to fix it?
Do you just bless & release?

It's best to be at a point of bless & release.I personally think that it is best to set the relationship back out to the sea of time.If something was meant to be for you,it will be =) If not,you will always have the memories.People come and go in your life.....For now,I love where I am and the people that come and go in my life.....If you read this,wow,thank you.Sorry for starting the week off with this kind of post.But I'm not sorry for being real.That's how it goes though, isn't it.

Thank you.God bless ya'all.

current fashion obsession

I just have to get one of these.I have become obsessed with floppy hats because it's simply gorgeous(:I am stalking the perfect one.For once,I am glad to have long super curly hair.Great look for this hat!haha

Rugged, but chic, do you agree?

I really like this one,not floppy enough though.

P.S. I have to admit,I have loved having the me time lately,a few minutes of peace,

just me and my thoughts (:I'm remaining a bit of a mystery for now.I'm doing fine,it's takes a bit of adjusting,but I'm getting there.

Thyroid Madness!

I don't know enough about anything to preach to anyone,

I don't have enough life experience to make assumptions about love,

about what it means and what it does to us.

but I've caught on recently,to something.

through a series of painful realizations,it's started to make an odd sort of sense.

not real sense,but the crazy,uninhibited sort of sense that only love can make.

I've realized that everything we make ourselves do,

everything we put ourselves through,there's no reason for it.

the things we say,

the places we go to on dates,

the pda,

the hand holding,

the little notes,

we only do these things because that's all we know of love.

that's what we've seen on television and read about in books.

that's the kind of love that we've been taught,is real.

but it's only action.

and actions might speak louder than words,but feeling means more than action.

it's like a twisted game of rock-paper-scissors.

I know that these things often do accompany real love......

because if you're in love,you WANT to hold his hand.

you want to leave a little note in his jacket pocket for his mom to find in the wash a week later, give to him,and know he's thinking of you.

you want to smell him,

you want him to hold you

&

tell you that you're perfect just the way you are.

you want to kiss him and make him feel good.

you want to listen to the music he listens to,

just in the hopes that it will help you understand him better.

you want to talk to his dog,and help his mom clean up in the kitchen,

talk sports with his dad.

you want to know everything.

you want to put his needs ahead of your own,

and you want to do it all so that he KNOWS you love him.

but doing it when you're legitimately in love isn't playing by the rules.

because in love,there are no rules.

no one to tell you that you're doing it wrong,not even yourself.....

because to worry and nit pick over the small things is to look back.

and love means not looking back.

love means holding him,and being afraid.....

because you could lose him at any moment,

but that fear is what keeps you hanging on.

in love,anything goes,and that's okay!!

that's what is so beautiful about it (:

is love fear?I don't think so.

but what do I know?I think I'm falling in love with HIM.

It feels good (:

I've never been so sure of anything.It's like,I've finally come to understand the difference between dread and fear,and those nervous butterflies that everyone keeps talking about.You want to know how I know?Because when I'm with you,I feel those butterflies fluttering around inside of me.But they don't make me want to run the other direction,like the fear has done before.If anything,they make me want to press myself as close as I can to you-face to face, heartbeat to heartbeat,because when I do that,the butterflies quiet their wings for a bit and they let me feel you.Feel all of you.And it's in those moments that I realize that the fear I feel is only surface level.It's the kind of fear you feel right before you turn on a bright light after hours of being in the dark.....just a few seconds before you open your eyes to see something so beautiful, something you couldn't see before.

For the first time in my life,I don't want to run away.I want to be with you(:

P.S. ok lovelies.....a few things for you.remember how a while back I posted about how I needed some new clothes..?well...I did it.last wednesday I indulged at Jusco {J CARD members' Day} and I'm a little sad cuz I'm broke right now!to be honest,I usually don't go to the movie theater that much....{even though it's a free ticket}I enjoy watching movies in the comfort of my own home=)I love my heart.I think I give it away too easily,and I share too much of it,and sometimes this means I get hurt…but I love deeply,and I care immensely,and I would truly go to the ends of the Earth for my friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way.I am amazed at how incredible I feel after doing something as simple as saying a cheerful “hello!”to a stranger on the street on my way to class,and I love being able to make someone else smile,even if it’s for the silliest little reason!!Loving can cost AAAAA lot,but not loving will always cost you more.So when in doubt… errRRMmmm on the side of love...okies??Until then...happy weekend,all.I promised you I'd be back.And whew,am I exhausted!

note:Love is something wonderful,so they say.And I've trusted them,until right now.

Humble happenings.

This week has been intense.

This week is the second week of my semester.

There are plenty of things to settle.

I'm proud to say that 'I'm not on probation anymore' but sad case....cos my younger sis just passed her driving test.wth man!!so yeah...the [P] sticker will be on car windscreen for another 2 blardy years =(

Why lar so many ppl's birthday falls on june?some more father's day is this sunday[waiseh there's a hole in my pocket]

2 weeks ago while I was eating at the roadside stall all by myself:

Me:*Enjoying my food,enjoying the cool breeze & staring into the distance*

Girl:*Driving really slow,sticking her head out the window,she glanced in my direction and she kept looking back at me.*

Me:*look around me*.I realized that I was the only customer eating at that very moment.

Girl:She made a U-turn at a junction and stopped her car right in front of the table that I was sitting at.She walked towards me and spoke nicely in chinese.{excuse me miss....you understand chinese??}

Me:I was stunned so I simply said No.haha...so she spoke to me in english.LOL

Girl:Have you ever done modeling & catwalk?

Me:*nods*

Girl:I'm a hair stylists and I need a female model for a hair competition & show and I will pay you Rm1500++ if you don't mind being my model.But the problem is I will be cutting your hair really short [something like rihanna's bob hairstyle]

Me:Huh???But.....I don't like short hair wor =(

Girl:Hmm you really don't want ar???Rm 1500++ also you don't want ar??

Me:Sooowiee but my love my hair so very much.

Girl:Nvm lar but if you change your mind than come to the saloon and look for me okay =)

Me:*smiles*...Later on when I got home and I told my mum,she suggested that I give it a shot coz she says that my hair was always long since I was a lil child and it would be great if I give it a change.But the stubborn side of me is begging me not to cut off my precious hair.haha...so yeah....there goes the offer and the MONEY!Lol

Anyways,I hate that every time in an assignment or project,I'm always elected to be the leader[waiseh emotionally,physically drained man!!]

" it's like a heavy burden weighing on my shoulder " =(

assignments are piling up and it's only the second week of the semester.haizzzzzz!!

I'm happy to say that I'm in the cheerleading & photography club.I'm thinking of joining the Judo and squash club too!I used to be in the pingpong club till I'm sick of it cuz I was the ONLY female wei[malu sial...all males only]I was also in the anima club till i realized that this club wasn't fun at all.I wanted to be in the christian fellowship but than their meetings clashes with my timetable so yea...probably next time ba (:

Signing off now!!byeeeeeeeeeeeeee