bits n pieces.

Oh life.
Brain.
Emotions and hormones.

pulling it all together...

Okay, chemical imbalance or not, we are all on a different playing field.
We ALL react to stress differently, we ALL handle life differently.
My journey has brought me to this.
You have to find what works best for you.
It's not about being weak and wanting to eliminate feelings.
Quite the contrary.
It's about finding a balance so that we CAN feel feelings,

rather than stay in one monstrous one for an extended period of time.

I've learned important lessons too.
I appreciate more the simple moments of life.
I have a deeper love and appreciation for those who have taken the time to

listen, pray, and still love me throughout it all.
I am more madly in love with my dude who has been unbelievably patient, loving, supportive and understanding through each and every icky moment.

We will never be free of emotions.

Or moods.

We are human.

Perfectly imperfect humans....

note : Well, it looks like the gears are turning and I could shortly be filmed for a reality TV show that could make it on the air. [ ..excited yet nervous..]

very odd dreams that are mostly riddled with fears

Some things about me that may be mildy amusing to you:

I have phobia sitting in speeding cars.

I'm afraid of heights.

I sleep with the lights on.

I do believe ghosts exist, but I have never seen one myself.

I have sweaty palms when i'm nervous.

My nickname when I was little was "Bin Bin biscuits".

I hate it when people touch my hair.

i hate overfriendly people. Annoying!

Fucking annoyed by girls pretending to be high maintenance sort of thing.WTF rite?

trashy biatches.

Girls Ogle at other girls. so darn annoying!

DISLIKE Girls Comparing themselves with other girls. (Deadly mistake)

I hate people Over boasting.

I am used to eating or sitting in a cafe alone, with or without friends.

I don't always go out with my cellphone and wallet.

I hate giving my cell phone number to strangers.. stalker much!

I hate girls pretending all nice in front and gossip or talk behind someone's back.

Dislike Guys who are very open about themselves.

I love ice-cream and nacho chips.

I hate facebook stalkers. Girls n guys 'adding back as a friend' non-stop, when you ignored their friend request like a million times... stalker much??!!!! and when you approved them... they don't even intro themselves... hmmm... asshole.

I hate it when you remove someone from your friend list in facebook and they keep ADDING n ADDING back.... Don't they get the point?? idiots man.

I hate friends or people asking me questions about ANYTHING whether it's about myself or random shit. Fuck! Can't I have some peace and privacy without you bunch asking me a hell of a lot of questions?

'm calm at the things I do.

I can feel the 'REALNESS' of someone as soon as they start to speak up.

I'm racist.

Everyone is a sinner. Don't bullshit me.

I hate fucking skinny stick girls talking about DIET and weight loss plan. idiots!

I don't fancy expensive stuff.

Shopaholic freaks is a pain in the ass.

I believe we will all go to hell.

I believe sex education should be implemented in primary schools.

I am sensitive to other needs.

I only believe in inner beauty... outer beauty is all bullshit. Come on man! Any Tom, Dick and Harry can get plastic surgery done and look drop dead gawjuz instantly.

I never put on make up on a normal daily basis.

I Don't follow fashion.

I Don't fancy branded clothes.... spoilt kids! Don't they have mercy for their parents who worked so hard to get those money? ass.

Our government is corrupted.

I hate wannabes

I don't eat scallop, oyster, siham and beef.

I hate half cooked meat.

Local fruits is my favourite.

I don't mind looking foolish in public.

I don't praise myself.

I don't copy in exams. I die on my own.

I don't wipe and comb my hair after bathing.

I study hard for exams.

Modeling was never something I see myself doing or pursuing in the future... I don't necessary love it or hate it. I'm just pushing my boundaries and see how far i can go into different field.


I walk out naked after bathing.

I'm cool Not wearing any undergarments while going out.

Black is my favourite color.

Pink color? hmmm depends lar.

I hate eating pills.

I don't waste my time looking at people's facebook photoAlbums. Maybe 5 picture or less and that's also to oblige someone/ friends...hahaha

I wish I can buy a gun...

Carrying handbags is such a burden.

I love spicy food.

I hate wasting money on movies unless its FREE!!

I'm super stingy

I cry everytime watching the less fortunate striving to live.

I hate wiping off eyeliner

I love being around studious people.

I hate my university.

I don't pray.

I don't make fake promises....action speaks louder than words.

I want to open my very own cupcakes or candies store.

I love watching cooking show... mum says i am obsessed!

I don't read blogs. lame

I write blogs when I feel like too.

I hate crowded places.

I have bad eyesight.

I'm neutral AT EVERYTHING I DO

I have bad temper but I control it

I don't like doing things most girls enjoy.. those girlish stuff makes me wanna barf!

I find it stupid for newbie couples going 'I love you forever n forever' and the next second they break up... Bastard.

Couples who celebrate monthly anniversary are stupid CUZ the next minute...they are both single...

I only believe in reality...The real world! No such thing as ONCE UPON A TIME for me. rubbish~!

Where I put up a ' Facelift' picture cuz I couldn't find a good picture....

The holidays were lovely...Eggs & biscuits were on the table every morning, there was always an abundance of Ice-cream in the freezer and "special" bread in the bread box. I've been so busy driving, cleaning, packing, traveling, working and doing coupley things that I've almost forgotten that this is the time I should be resting well before the new semester starts! "sighs"

Oh hell. I'm the person you don't want to fuck with, ever. She's hot headed. She screams from time to time and thank God my family members was born with good lungs- cause they are the only person brave enough to scream back. But....we all can burn and too often we burn the people we love the most, cause they're the only ones willing to reach out and touch the fire. We're all steaming, flames of ridiculous bursts of light that are both blinding and beautiful in the same glance. We can scream and disagree, but we are family. And you know how Malaysians feel about family....I'm done throwing a fit now. Thanks.

I have a feeling that it's the shitty one that stuck.
Not inspired. Not inspired. BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Still feel like reading?!

I need a new phone, a chill pill, a manicure and a pedicure, a new computer! So. I want nice things. There....I said it. I want to be able to buy unnecessary items. But more importantly, I want to be able to LIVE. Live my life, cross off lists, live bountifully not BLEAKLY.

Time is escaping me. Completely running through my fingertips like powdered sugar. MMM....sugar.

Time is running away from me like I'm a butcher knife wielding mad man, with it's heels on fire. Just for today, I don't want TIME to control me.

I want to be in the time that I have so that I don't wonder where it went when it's gone.

No watches, no deadlines.

I want to let go of the "have-to-dos" and tell everything to just SLOW DOWN.....or wait for me.

I want time to finish my milk, to read my book, to stay in bed with my teddy.

To check off everything on my list.

to To get there without feeling rushed.

To walk in the grass.

To make new friends.

TO DO IT ALL.

To research and learn.

To write and let creativity come naturally.

To decide without pressure.

To eat meals in courses.

To make a cheesecake.

To enjoy the process instead of getting intimidated by it.

To digest and to meditate.

To BREATHE.

Annnnnd....

to pluck my eyebrows in a magnifying mirror.

note: Life throws you plans better than you imagined for yourself when you aren't expecting it.

i'm not sure what to post about today

{one} have you ever been stuck in an elevator?
thank god no!

{two} have you ever ridden on an elephant?
ummmm, no!

{three} have you ever met a well known celebrity?
South Korean pop and R&B singer, RAIN :)

{four} do you have any food allergies?
Peanuts

{five} do you know how to sew?
A lil bit.

{six} did you get an allowance when you were young?
RM1

{seven} how often do you fill up your gas tank?
hmmm....ask my mum!

{eight} have you ever been stung by a jelly fish?
no, i hate swimming in yucky water!

{nine} have you ever been robbed?
i really don't want to jinx myself on this one;)

{ten} what is the worst haircut you’ve ever had?
when i was young, my sister cut my hair super short and it was hideous && ugly!



- So, I just got a call from Penang yesterday...regarding a competition that I randomly participated and I'm shortlisted as one of the semi finalist but unfortunately, I got another better offer and somehow the dates clashes so...I gotta choose only ONE...hmmmm....
- Sher's been out of the country for over 2 years and I have been doing okay. Right this minute, I am literally waiting for him to go online. Waiting so I could talk to my best friend, my partner, my leader, my better half. Waiting so I could last another day without him here. Waiting so my love tank can be refilled. And when he does, I’ll still be waiting. Waiting for him to come home : ) I miss you niuk.

what are you...right or left? :)

Left brain: I am the left brain. I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytical. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A master of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.

Right brain: I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be.

I hope y’all been having a grrrr-reat week (:

Sorry I haven’t been updating for quite awhile. I’ve been busy with my studies. Done with another photo-shooting session. Catalogue shooting session around the corner. Looking forward for a shooting session with the established malaysian fashion designer with over 20 years of experience the the fashion industry :)) plus a Photo shooting with the girls would be fun....can't wait =) Few slots are opens up for fashion shooting too. Not forgetting my sweethearts!! we will be having a reunion in KL real soon! Missing you girls so much =) have a safe flight babes muakssss!

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Since I’ve got this freakishly weird urge to blog but my brain refuses to cooperate with me. So yeah, here goes nothing….. ABC About You Questions:

A – Available: Nope :)

B – BIRTHDAY: 4th March
C – CRUSHING ON: Taylor lautner

D – DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water!
E – EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: My friends

F – FAVORITE SONG: Currently, 'FOR YOU I WILL by Teddy Geiger'

G – GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: BOTH .... i have a sweet tooth =)
H – HOMETOWN: Malacca!
I- IN LOVE WITH: Food

J – JUGGLE: Nope :/
K – KILLED SOMEONE: Of course not!
L – LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Melaka to Penang.

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Oreos (:
N – NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3

O – ONE WISH: to be the wealthiest person on earth

P – PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Mom!
R – REASON TO SMILE: Delicious food
S- SONG YOU LAST HEARD: OMG by Usher

T – TIME YOU WOKE UP: 9 AM
U – UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: *winks*
V – VEGETABLE(S): Broccoli. Carrots. Cucumber.
W – WORST HABIT: I need ice cream to make me happy

X – X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: My gums.

Y – YOYOS ARE: FUN!
Z – ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces

P.S blogging serves as a place to keep and share my memories. I'm not witty or funny or hardly interesting, but thanks to you all for always stopping by to read... =)))

I have a terrible habit of looking at tiny problems and making them feel unsurmountable. Now, however, I intend to change this entirely. I want to work harder at looking at things from different perspectives and trying to see the positive aspects of everything. I know this isn't the easiest thing in the world to do, but if you never try you'll never know. They say it takes 60 days to kick an old habit or make a new one. So hopefully, soon .... I have a bit of a rebirth myself.
May God bless us all with love, joy, peace and success =))