wonder what's underneath?

once in a while we pass by a super drop dead gorgeous chic strolling down the mall and we're amazed by her beauty and flawless skin.guys especially!hahaha....they will get so caught up by her beauty and her looks.I'm sure many of us have seen tonnes stunning pictures of this beautiful girls in facebook,taiwan show n google images....[with super huge eyes and dollface]!but have u ever wonder how they look like in person without make up?haha after seeing this pictures,we will definitely want them to wear make up for the rest of their lives.come on....they totally don't look a like at all with the before and after make up process!super duper different"the dark circles,bad skin,eye bags,tiny eyes,square face...."gosh!that's why don't judge a book by its cover guys...haha...beauty is from within...outer beauty is just temporary and its all covered up by tonnes of chemicals which in long run destroys n ruins our face..LESS IS MORE i shall say...to sum up,make up is just for special occasion or parties.Let your face breathe as much as it could...of course without make up some girls will feel neglected by the guys and they can't seem to stop 'traffic' but go slow on it...but i've seen natural pretty face....they look much better without make up and once they put it on...hmmm they're just prettier without it on...however....there is some girls whom is not so pretty and then when they put make up on,gosh their face are to die for!prepare to get freak out cuz you would.now you know how all those pretty baby face get their wow factor?simple.more foundation,super long eye lash and lots of eyeliner and blusher!!haha

P.S:women should thank make-up for not ruining their everyday image

Men, stop eating those rotten apples! :0)

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree =)

what's next?

I kinda feel like I've wasted my opportunity for not representing Malaysia to compete at the largest independent beauty and talent showcase in Asia Pacific which will be held in KOREA in JUNE!yes korea *the place that many korea's diehard fans wishes to go*....haizz.....There will be over 70 countries competing for the title and its awesome to get to know many new people and gaining tremendous experience from this pageant. However, school is more important lar... I wouldn't want to skip lecture class for 3 weeks right? So terpaksa reject lor... Lately, I've missed out tonnes of opportunities from great modeling agencies in KL, and several photoshoot in KL itself due to my final examinations,CNY and boyfriend's homecoming. Studying and taking modeling many steps further is not an easy combination because BOTH needs a lot of time and effort. So yea..... i'll take it easy for now and when I got time... i'll push myself further... For now , I'll study hard, eat hard, sleep hard and try to find time for fashion shows and photoshoots. Best of all, Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp and eattt!

8 years and still counting =)

Happy Valentine’s Day Sweetheart ♥!

I love you all through February, not just on Valentine's Day. I knew right from the start....we had a very special bond. Our time together is a gift. You’re interesting, warm and fun! and when I need to talk and share, I'll run straight to You. We have no reason to pretend because we know each other so well from our heads to our toes... I’m thankful that you’re in my life =) Although we won't be celebrating Valentine's Day for many many years, it's okay cuz today is just another ordinary day. Thanks for trying your very best to give me everything I ever wanted. Just to have you by my side for one minute and give you a hug is all I would wish for now cuz i'm missing you so very much already.

One more day without you is one more day closer to being with you.

In a blink of an eye, 3 weeks hast past without me even realizing it because I was having so much fun, laughter and craziness with him. It gets emotional knowing that he will be heading back to Moscow by this end of the week. haizzzzz........Goodbye seems so easy when I am saying it to others but it never gets easy when I have to say it to You. You coming home for this winter break was definitely the best valentine's present in advance I could ever received. it Looks like you will be leaving a day before valentine's day and we will both be having romantic candle light dinner through the webcam....haiz very poor thing but it's good enough because the few hours I spend with you....are worth the thousand hours I spend without you. I'm going to miss you like madness. no doubt. In this short period of time, we have tried to do as much fun stuff as we can possibly do together before goodbyes approaches AGAIN. We played tennis cause I love love LOVEE outdoor sports but non share the same interest as me. we played our very first archery game together. We headed to the movies after many many many months not stepping into the cinema. We jalan-jalan cari makan and we are both food lovers. We have great passion about good food and he claims that I can become a great food critic cuz I definitely have something to say *good and bad* about a particular food that I put into my mouth. hahahaha..... Today we headed to this to beautiful place. Blue skies, cool breeze, sun filtering through the trees....sweeeeeeeeeet! Not forgetting SHOPPING!almost everyday..... When you leave liau, things around here will surely be very quiet and No fun =( I will surely have dreams about you almost every nite and waking up is the worst part all the time because realizing that it was just part of a dream... Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!!! Like how you wish I could be in Moscow with you....., How I wish I could be there with you too, but distance has kept us apart. Apart physically, but in spirit, you are always in my heart. No doubt. We have grown spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, and other life goals. Us From kiddos to young adults who wants and dreamss of making big bucks in the future....From lil teenagers who first laid eyes on each other and fell in love at first sight till we are Not afraid to act SILLY in front of each other.

Its sickening that so many people frequently asked us both this few similar questions:

"Don't you guys get bored of each other?" ,

"Why waste each others time when you guys are miles apart from each other?" , "

What's your secret ?",

"You still so young, why so serious?" ,

"Haiyor long way to go some more lar, Go have fun la!"

What the wrong with you guys lar??? Why should someone keep changing partners like changing underwear?? Super cheapskate man those girls or guys who frequently change partners and they think highly about themselves..They feel proud that they can tackle this person that person ....Zzzzzzz.... When you accept someone as your partner.....make sure you analyze the person from HEAD-to-Toe first before jumpping into a relationship because we want to make sure that ONE person that we chose to be with is the man or woman of our lives eternity. Because First love is always the most precious one. Not the second or third. screw all those stupid ridiculous questions lar because it's our lives AND not yours! thank you. This is human nature lar... They macam bosong jer when seeing other people happy. They just want to crush you down and when you break down.... then this humans pula act caring...Wtf?

I can't wait to see you tomorrow for the last time and I'm gonna make sure its going to be a great farewell.... Feel so emo thinking about us chatting thru the four box computer screen till midnights and it's tough shit cuz we can't convey true emotions and feelings to one another.... I just want everyday to pass by quickly so I can see you again =(

senyour,

Wherever you go, whatever you do, you know I love you ... from my heart I really do. I will be waiting, always. Whatever it takes, whatever's at stake, you know I'll be right here, right here ... always waiting for you. Time may take us apart, that's true, but I will always be there for you no matter the miles between.

Yours sincerely,

PIG

Madness is genius...

Sorry for the huge break from blogging.Y'all, 2011 has been a bit of a cluster for me so far. I mean, it could be worse. I'm totally aware of that and trust me that I am thankful it hasn't been. But I do kind of feel like it's almost laughable that each week is something new. I'm not a fan of getting up and going to class. In fact, I tend to pout in the morning.

ANYWAY,.....

I Am....a nice person.

I Want...to go to tahiti island!

I Have...lots of needs n wants....

I Wish...I knew what I wanted to be when I grew grow up.
I Hate...traffic, seriously despise it.
I Fear...death.
I Hear...the dogs barking.
I Search...online for cool n adorable images....

I Wonder...when we will get married n buy a house.....

I Regret...for not following my dreams n desire.

I Love...him, my family, my friends.
I Ache...to have kids around me...

I Always...eat

I Usually...wear t-shirt

I Am Not...confident in myself.
I Dance...when i'm happy.

I Sing...at the top of my lungs in my room,

I Never...care much about being gorgeous n sexy.

I Rarely...drink coffee

I Cry...when I am really irritated and frustrated.
I Am Not Always...a friendly person. I'm timid n very shy with new surroundings n new faces....

[I live along the lines of, you are a bitch to me...then I am a bitch to you]

I Lose...it when I hear love songs n watch sad movies....

I'm Confused...about why bad things happen to wonderful people.
I Need...to be more optimistic.
I Should...be less of a people pleaser.

I can't ..... live a day without watching tv.

I adore.... ice-cream like crap!i have ice cream ALMOST everyday.

I think .... i am capable of doing things my own way...

I feel .... cold at night...i sleep with 3 blankets n a jacket.madnesss!!

I touch....things that captures my eyes.

I laugh....at silly jokes.

I step....on ants.

I drink.....soda more than water.

I eat....junk food like nobody business.

I Sleep.....after 1a.m.

I bath....when i feel like to.

I Scream....when others starts talking really loud.

I sulk....when i'm hungry

Who Are You?

to be honest....i have NTG to WRITE HERE.*sighs*

this is the problem why i dont blog these days....cuz i have ntg to blog about...gosh,wad a bad bad blogger i am....there's practically ntg interesting happening in my same old boring routines.Just moody mornings and everyday is bad hair day for me...I wake up in the morning juz in time to bath without combing or drying my hair n rush straight to class.crap i noe.hey im running out of words here.awkwardddddddness i noe.byes

honestly....

Hey everyone, I know I've been MIA lately but I'm back now.

I just needed a little bit of inspiration to hit me.

So, hi. And stuff.

I know, I know, I’m not here much lately.

But trust me, that is my gift to you.

Because if I actually DID try to write anything right now it would pretty much go like this:

blah blah EXAMS

blah blah blah KILL MYSELF

Blah Blah STRESSY boredom

BLAH SOMEONE SHOOT ME

BLAH WHERE?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway,I'm a nice mix of masculine/feminine.

I'm the woman who really should brush her hair more

and not spend half an hour in the morning staring into the fridge and the biscuit tins.

I don't spend hours putting on make up, trying to look better than what I look now XD haha.....

I can totally be whatever type of woman I want to be.

right now i'm the woman who feels like i'm playing dress up when i put on make up and heels.

I hate getting up early so I never will be that girl who gets up an hour early just to fix her makeup and curl her hair.

I wish I were one of those women who get up at 6am,

go to the gym, shower and arrive at class impossibly fresh.

I roll out of bed 20 minutes before I'm supposed to be at campus,

eating breakfast with my eyes closed,

arrive 10 minutes late every goddamn day,

and spend the evening on the couch.

Not one of my nails are the exact same length because I'm the type of woman that bites her nails when she gets stressed - which is often.

I own more flip flops than actual shoes ^^

Every time I try to buy proper perfume I always come home with cotton candy body spray...

i'm the type of woman who has clothing with cartoon and large wordings on it. like...a lot.

I still call my mom about everything.

If a button falls off my favorite sweater? I Call mom.

How the hell long do I steam the corn? Call mom.

How do I know if eggs are going bad? Call mom.

so....What kind of woman are you?

Being A woman sounds exhausting,huh?

Being someone you aren't is even worst!

Being yourself is so much more fun and exciting.

A WOMAN...she doesn't need to rock tight clothing to prove she's sexy or feminine,

she doesn't have to rock paint and glossy lips to prove she's a lady,

she doesnt need a closet full of 3-4inch stilettos to prove she's all woman!!

because a real woman doesn't need much to showcase she's all woman.

so....ladies don't ever feel the need to be the chick in music videos or in magazines because I guarantee ya its alot of men out here that Loves a real woman VS a made up one!!

No need to be materialistic and so concerned about "VANITY" because in the real world all a real man want and need is a real woman!

sheesh......We as women need to stop competing with each other,

stop being bitchy,

keep our cool,

and spend less time in the bathroom and more time outside.

We need to communicate with each other in a true and

heartfelt way to realize that we are a family.

....could be worse I suppose....

I miss my younger me...

I looked down at my hands today

&

I realized I don't have little kid hands anymore,

my hands have signs of work in them,

my veins are visible and my fingers are long like my Mother's[actually mine's even longer]

I always loved her hands and remember looking at my little girl hands

wishing they weren't so small.....

weren't so stumpy,

I wanted elegant hands to put pretty rings on

and nails long enough for French manicures.

I don't know when it happened but today my hands belonged to a woman,

they didn't belong to a little girl anymore

and it made me miss being young with my whole body....

It made me miss everything about it,the curiosity,the innocence.

I miss clutching to my Daddy's hands that were so much bigger than mine,

that protected and took care of me.

I miss swinging all of my body weight on one grip.

I miss picking out dresses and patent leather shoes that you could see your reflection in.

I miss licking the all the frosting off the tops of cupcakes,

I miss picking dandelions and crushing the yellow petals between my delicate tiny little fingers.

I miss thinking a vanilla ice cream cone was the best thing in the whole world,

and that chicken noodle soup could really cure anything or a kiss would make anything feel better..I miss when I didn't know what it felt like to miss somebody,

and I was just excited to see someone I loved at the end of the day.

When I didn't know the feeling of sorrow,or hearts falling when I didn't know that not everyone in the world is kind and open.

When I assumed "good" was always the outcome

and if someone "promised" that was enough of a contract.

I miss sticking my tongue out at strangers,making strange noises and throwing temper in public.

I miss being connected to myself enough to cry when I was sad.

When being analytical,calculated,and manipulative weren't a means to get what you wanted,

but a simple "please" would do.

The times when I was conscious of saying my "thank you's" and "excuse me's."

I miss when I was supposed to have a sense of wonder,

and people wouldn't warn that soon I would be "hardened" I miss softness.

Blankies,and stuffed animals!

I miss bedtimes and birthday parties,crushed Goldfish and "snack time."

Bad hair and purple nail polish.

When I didn't have to be accountable.

When the only fear I knew was that of the dark.

When the perfect vacation was one that involved people in costumes with pink cheeks,

and parades.

"Play dates" over real ones.

Before insecurity and awareness,before anxiety and doubt,

before I knew anything about my body and I used it as a means to live in

....skip,stretch,climb, and ride bikes.

I miss when guilt, lack, regret, or disappointment weren't emotions that existed to me.

I miss when love was really unconditional,

when faith just was,

and security always meant Mom and Dad.

When I look at my hands I'm proud of them,

I like that they look like my Mom's,

that they move quickly and have strength,

I just wish that they could have stayed young,

that I could have stayed young...a little bit longer....

but I'm reaching my twenties by next year.sigh :(

it's aint easy being cheesy

i know i haven't posted anything exciting or interesting lately.
for that, i apologize.
i'm feeling uninspired
and confused about the direction i want this blog to be heading in.

.. you're shopping at your favorite store
and you're in the clearance section. duh.
and you're looking for a cute cardigan
because it's always cold in your class.

then you find the cardigan
and it's on the 50% off clearance rack.
and you're excited.
but you keep looking around.
and then you see this skirt.
a skirt you've never seen before
at any target, on any rack,
especially not on a clearance rack.
and it's SO pretty.
you love it.
but it's only 30% off.
the price tag says RM99

it's not that great of a deal,
but you love that skirt.
eventually, you leave with just the cardigan.
a cute cardigan that you'll wear often.
3 days later,
you can't stop thinking about
that skirt!
you can't believe you didn't get that skirt.

you don't know how you'll wear it.

or where you'll wear it.

all you can think about is that
you need that skirt.
so you look online.
it's not there.
is there any chance that the skirt
is still on that clearance rack?
what's a girl to do?!