My life is Amazing.

Well well.......

look who has finally showed her face in the blogging world.

=) haha

Today is Sunday...
Can you believe I actually posted?!?

Me either.

Since I'll be leaving in a few more hours,

I decided to blog (:

I am so stinking happy you are only hours away.

I can't wait.

I know I'll enjoy myself there.

My brain has been on over load

due to the lack of being able to type it out every day

as I have been able to do in the past.

So much going on that

I can't even remember half the things I really wanted to post about.

Regardless,I will give you a few updates.

Ya know,a little bit of the me you've all been missing oh so much ;)

*laughs*

Oh Sunday,I love you so.
You make me smile like no other day I know.
It's time to forget the rest of the week.

Let go of the stress

&

everything else that doesn't bring a smile to ur face.

....concentrate on just relaxing....

Next weekend I'm going to:

Relax.
Dance.

Shake.

Laugh.
Dream.

Snuggle.

Swim.
Cuddle.

Drink.

Shop.
Be happy.
Smile at a stanger.
Breathe.
Sleep in late.

As for the rest of my life....

Oh man so crazy!!

As you can tell I haven't had time to catch up on my blog.

Wow,what a week!!

I feel like it's been a roller coaster of sorts,

both online and off.

Well,I'm going to relax...
Tomorrow I will be doing lots and lots of

shopping.

~Toodles Lovelies ♥

why trust a person that already Lie like there's no tomoro??

I had enough listening to this word,{TRUST}....[It was being misused!]You guys don't know the truth ok.So don't point fingers at me!!!!!!!!!!!!You ppl are not in my place,my situation,and my anxiety okay!Ok fine.I'm COOL with other criticism.If that is your point of view or point of grace or whatsoever than fine,I'll go with the wind.I really wish that ALL of this didn't even started and It DIDN'T even begIn.That's from their point of view.Wanna listen to my point of view??I forgive and forget very easily.{that's the best part of me}I'm not getting angry over no reason okay.{i have proof!!!}I get it you know.I finally understand.That's it.If this is because of me than Think again.If I were you and You were me,you'll probably behave/act the same way like I do.Yea I'm just so silly.Why haven't I notice???!!I knew it but I'm just afraid.afraid of so many things.What punctures my heart most is the fact that People thinks I'm a total control freak and an irritating fucking jackass.I will be alright,I promise.I'm just slower that's all.I'll get over it eventually.I'll be happy eventually.I won't *lay nest* on my computer chair anymore.I'll go.I'll Go for the benefits of everyone.If this is the final decision than I'll walk away.I can't promise you,I'll walk fast but I'll walk.Don't need to worry.I'm just sick of being a shining light bulb/a dark shadow and not getting noticed.I think I'm might be ready to walk all by myself,firmly and strong soon.I think lar.

P.S. God always teaches us to be forgiving,so,
I forgive you but I won't forget.

janji yg ku selalu mimpikan.masa silam yg ku harapkan boleh berulang.
Ia adalah hakitat sebenar.Ia tidak boleh berulang tapi Ia cuma boleh diingati.
Ingati buat seumur hidup.Hidup kita yg cuma sekali.Hidup yg penuh dgn kekesalan,kekecewaan,kemarahan,kesedihan,kedukaan,kepahitan,kesengsaraan,keperitan....
Bilakah masanya untuk ku melepaskannya?Ku mmg percayamu yg ......
Mungkin selama ni ku bergantung byk sgt.Tapi ku sdg byk belajar berdiri sndri.
BYEEEEEE

All I Need Is Time.

{I like this picture a lot not only bcuz I look so CUTE but also,

it was actually my First time eating Hokkien noodles *it tasted so good*

& drinking teh cina sejuk *jakun sial*}LOL

I'm slowly letting go all the pain & misery that has only brought me sadness.

{it is really uncomfortable to feel pain!!}

I pray,I medicate,I seek my own way,

and yet the hurt is still there.

I wonder,why isn't God taking the pain when He is plenty capable??

When I realized the pain wasn't going anywhere my prayers

went from,"Take this from me!" to,

"Get me through this,help me just to make it through the next five minutes."

An unfulfilled promise is what I hate most!!arghhhh!!!

Lately,I've been meeting tonnes of great people

&

they gave me loads of useful advice

{some of which I followed and some of which I didn't}

I just realized that so many people out there is

willing to be my friend

and there's still people who cares about me....=)

I was always not ready to make new friends but this time,

I think I'm ready=)

Is just that sometimes I experience great mood swings,

from excitement to depression,from joy to sorrow,

from inner harmony to inner chaos.

&

At that particular time,I just want to be left alone.

Anyway,I'm so looking forward to next month!! xD

you wanna know why??^^

V

V

V

V

V

V

~cuz my examination will be over by then =)

~I'll be having a semester break!!

~14th February = Valentine's day = Chinese New Year

~Chinese New Year = red packet{Ang Pao} = $_$

~My eldest sister might be tying the knot(:

~I'm getting my braces off.muahaha!!

~I'll be going shopping in KL for new clothes.

~I'll be seeing my relatives and cousins.

~I can eat and drink for free.

and loads more.......{it's just gonna be crazy!!}

btw,I might be taking a vacation all on my own after my Finals.

=)

*I just found out my mum is the coolest mother eva*

I've been going out a lot,staying up late,and coming home midnight

and she doesn't even nag.She actually treats me like an adult already...

*she's NOT that type of controlling parents!!*

She cares a lot about her children is just that,she trust us.

{I know tonnes of parents who doesn't allow their children to go out and they controls their children's freedom!!bugger}

{e.g:parents who calls their children basically ever second

when they are on an outing with their friends/gf/bf and

asked exactly "what are they doing??" and "where exactly are they??"}wtf man!

kinda freaky huh??

P.S. I still see myself as the tall goofy looking girl from highs school.

I looked like I was 17 when I was 13,& about 25 when I was 18.

NOTE:it makes no sense to me to learn that some people intentionally lie,

creating false impressions and images that clearly are not them.

pathological liars?maybe.I call them crazies.

Can You Take A Simple Picture?

I'm fascinated with photography =)

The moment I pick up a camera,

I want to make magic.

I want to do something risky and different.

However,it ain't easy honey!!

Anyway....

Sometimes I find that being a writer is tough.

In every moment,in every part of life,

there are words.

There are phrases.

There are pictures

&

memories to be captured

&

in that second,minute or hour,

you aren't sure what will come of it.

You just know,that it will eventually come.

&

suddenly when you are......

brushing your teeth,running your errands,trying to sleep,

it comes to you.

The perfection of words.

The puzzle pieces of ur thoughts are out of nowhere complete.

&

you feel as though if you don't stop right now and put it into writing,

it will be gone.{Poof...!!}

As quick as the moment may have been itself.

If you're lucky,

it goes from the mind to the screen or paper as easy as u could ever hope.

Other times.....,

the connection between your mind and your hands is lost,

&

you are once again lost in thoughts swirling with words.

You wonder,are you losing your touch?

The creativity,is it gone???!!

Can you even write?arghh

And yet,if you are truly a writer,

a writer deep at heart.....<3

these questions will fade the moment you just do it.

You just write.

Something.Anything.Good or bad, you do it.

&

when you do it,you feel release.

*i believe i can fly*lol

You feel complete.

You feel whole and worthwhile.

Being a writer is tough.

And yet,I continue to grasp it so tight,

each & every confusing & tiring moment it brings.

P.S. My 2nd semester has finally came to an end=)

hurray!!

Finals is in two weeks time.

I Can't wait for chinese New Year.

till next time readers...BYE~

Seriously guys,I am OBSESSED with this new decade.

Hey Readers!!^^

{look what I found}

I'm in love with high waisted skirts with a v-neck shirt.

I'm so in love with this look right now.

It's so flattering and totally versatile.

love me or hate me...I'm still gonna shine,haha


Friends are like fishes.
You have to sit patiently for a long time to catch a good one.
Just like I caught you.
So,you better stay nice otherwise I will Fry you!!




.:STOP.LOOK.LISTEN:.
I mean,I feel alive and awake xD
It just feels good to be taking control of my thoughts & mind,
&
making the most of what happens to me.
I was really thinking about the past year
&
how I wanted to recap it here on my blog.
it feels like the week has been flying by....
we're all doing year posts,
Looking back & making resolutions for 2010.
A lot of bad things happened.
So much stress.
BUT
because 2009 was such a shit show.
I can honestly say that I am going into 2010 better than ever!
I feel so positive and ready for a new decade.
2009 taught me A LOT,& for that I am thankful =)
There was also a lot of good in 2009
and I'm going to carry that good into 2010!!


*note:I've Never been into cheeseballs much.
Cheaters,maybe.
Unforgivers,totally.
Uncommiters,heck ya bugger!

....lets shake that thang beyotch...

I just feel like a complete idiot.

It's 4.32a.m and I basically slept for only two hours.I just don't understand why can't I be like everyone else.Why can't I accept the truth that our lives are pre-destined?!Why can't I just be happy and have big smiles all over my face?!Why can't I just stop being so stupid and naive about the fact that I'm........?!!arghhhhh!!!wat the fuck.I need to kick some ass rite now!!I need a gallon of beer to make sleep soundlessly!!I need someone to talk to!I need some serious attention rite away!!I just wish I could be like everyone else.So strong,so determined.* or maybe everyone is just like me*,hiding their feelings and emotions by distancing and numbing themselves.I'm just out of words right now.I'm just one blardy hopeless freak.I know I can do it but I'm still holding on to it.hey,I tried real hard but it ain't working!!!!!!I'm so sad and that's all I can say.

P.S. It ain't over till it's over.

Thank YOU for being a reason for me to SMILE.

you make me smile all day,everyday

=)

2010,I welcome you.Can I get you anything?!
Awwww you guys!I miss ya'all so very much!
It's so freaking bizarre how much I miss blogging,
and it's only been a few days!LOL

Just a busy week =p

I wish I could share more about what I'm doing

but my blog is not exactly anonymous

&

I can't be too specific.

Things should settle down next week so

I'll be back to my usual daily stalkage xD

I'm not where I thought I would be,

but I am learning that maybe I'm where I am supposed to be.

I'm standing on the edge of a huge jump,

one that I'm doing on my own.

But with more confidence & sense of self than I have ever had.

Today,I had my PCA0025 presentation

and the lecturer asked,"why do ppl waste their time blogging??",

Why don't ppl use their free time doing beneficial things,instead of blogging?and he said,bloggers are usually girls.....hey dear lecturer,I know tonnes of male bloggers out there okay,who blogs basically every single day!!btw,Blogging only takes 5-15 minutes or more{according to its length} and wat the hell does it got to do with wasting our time rite??ish...

note:

My journal/blog is my safe place.
It holds everything I am.Everything that is truly me.
When I don't feel safe anywhere else,my journal is there.

A blank page waiting for me.

Never judging.Never expecting.Simply there.
And when I need to let it all go and just breathe.
I am there.

And when I need to figure out the jumbles of my mind.
I am there.

I never hold back.Never try to be something or someone I'm not.
The years of journals now fill a chest.

There is a chest full of me.
And it absolutely blows me away.

So much of my life could have been forgotten.
And maybe at times,I wish it had been.

But,it's there.

My words.

My heart. <3

Me :(

What about you? =.=??
Where do you bare your soul?
What gives you that sense of freedom?

While I love this little world I've created here on my blog
I have to be honest,it is not nearly as pure.
Because I know it's not completely safe.

P.S. Enjoy the first Manic Monday of the new year.
Today,I am thankful for what I have.

I am thankful that I have my family,my best friends who catch me when I am falling.

I am thankful I am loved,& that I love,deeply.

I am thankful that my heart is mending.

I am thankful I have some great hair XD,LOL.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for the opportunities I have & my bright future.

till then,Toodles!!